August 15, 2014

Actual Letters from Sleepaway Camp (Jacob)

Mom and Dad,

Hey guys, how are you?  Can you please send me Lauren's camp address.  I hope that you are having a good summer so far.  I know I am.  Today is Saturday July 26th.

Love,
Jacob


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Hi Mom and Dad,

I really miss you and I am very home sick.  I would really love for you to come pick me up.  Please say yes.

Love,
Jacob

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Someone stole my Bar Mitzvah Binder so now I cannot do my lessons.  I was supposed to have my lesson today but I did not have my stuff.  Can you send me a new copy.

Love,
Jacob

Actual Letters From Sleepaway Camp (Lauren)


Dear Mom and Dad,

I miss you so much.  Thanks for the letter.  Today I had my first horseback riding lesson.  I also took my swim test today.

Love,
Lauren

P.S. You might not get any more letters from me.  I can't find my addresses.


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Dear Mom and Dad,

Can you send me the addresses of our family again?  I am very homesick and the only way I can communicate with anyone is through these letters.  I know you won't get this today.  But when you get this, send addresses.

Love,
Lauren

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Dear Mom and Dad,

Today there were weddings of Stevie and Ellie (two girls in my bunk). Next year me and Evelyn were planning a trip to Colorado for her family and ours.  I miss you.

xoxo

Love,
Lauren

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Dear Mom and Dad,

I miss you so much.  Too much. I can't live like this anymore.  I'm too homesick.  I want to come home. I love you so much and miss you.

Love,
Your daughter Lauren


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Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm not very homesick anymore.  I think I was homesick because I wasn't used to being alone. So tell me if we can go on that trip I was talking about.

Love,
Your daughter Lauren


May 23, 2014

Another NASA Picture? Yup.


That little blue droplet is the Earth, sitting over the moon's horizon.

April 21, 2014

I Believe in Neil Gaiman. Goddamn.


My Uncle has been talking about Neil Gaiman for quite some time.  He kept telling me to read Coraline.  Sure. I made a mental note of it, but quite honestly, it sounded a bit freaky.


Then, last Fall, I read this piece he wrote on reading and fiction, entitled "Why our future depends on libraries, reading, and daydreaming." Its...um...worth reading.  In simple accessible terms, Gaiman flat out nails it:


"Fiction has two uses. Firstly, it's a gateway drug to reading. The drive to know what happens next, to want to turn the page, the need to keep going, even if it's hard, because someone's in trouble and you have to know how it's all going to end … that's a very real drive. And it forces you to learn new words, to think new thoughts, to keep going. To discover that reading per se is pleasurable. Once you learn that, you're on the road to reading everything. And reading is key. There were noises made briefly, a few years ago, about the idea that we were living in a post-literate world, in which the ability to make sense out of written words was somehow redundant, but those days are gone: words are more important than they ever were: we navigate the world with words, and as the world slips onto the web, we need to follow, to communicate and to comprehend what we are reading. People who cannot understand each other cannot exchange ideas, cannot communicate, and translation programs only go so far.

* * *


And the second thing fiction does is to build empathy. When you watch TV or see a film, you are looking at things happening to other people. Prose fiction is something you build up from 26 letters and a handful of punctuation marks, and you, and you alone, using your imagination, create a world and people it and look out through other eyes. You get to feel things, visit places and worlds you would never otherwise know. You learn that everyone else out there is a me, as well. You're being someone else, and when you return to your own world, you're going to be slightly changed."

Gaiman's thoughts about stories and storytelling itself all feel so right. When talking about his sensational and haunting Ocean at the End of the Lane (my favorite book I've read this year), Gaiman explained "The Ocean that was the size of a pond but contained everything in the universe . . . a metaphor for story itself; the magic of a book, of a story, is that its only this many pages, but . . . there is a world in there . . . and you can fit it all in . . . the same way you can fit an Ocean into a bucket 'if you ask it nicely'."

And then today, I happened upon the below quote from his book, American Gods, another of Gaiman book's that I have not yet read.  And this quote, it's most definitely the best thing I've read today.  In fact its the best thing I've read in quite some time:


“I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”


More recently, I discovered his well known poem/graphic novel "Instructions," a set of instructions for surviving a fairy tale adventure, and also for life. Read it. It's mind-blowing.

Alright alright.  I'll read Coraline.



February 17, 2014

A Breathtaking Image of The Celestial Sky


(Photo by and reprinted with permission from Metipon Tangmatitham)

Saw this breathtaking image the other day.  Its a surreal shot of our galaxy that also captures both a meteor and a rocket ship side by side. Makes me feel big and small all at the same time.

NASA has provided a zoomable image here.

January 31, 2014

The American Unhappines Project

Last year I read a fascinating book called My American Unhappiness.  The main character, Zeke, navigates an empty post-modern landscape as he gathers stories for his Inventory of American Unhappiness Project.  The Project amounts to collecting responses to the question “Why are you unhappy?”  Via email, live interview, or otherwise.

One of my favorite parts was the explanation of what Zeke did when someone said: “What me? I’m not unhappy.” A short discussion or just a look was usually all it took to get a response to the question. It reminds me of a favorite passage from David Foster Wallace:

“The next suitable person you’re in light conversation with, you stop suddenly in the middle of the conversation and look at the person closely and say, “What’s wrong?” You say it in a concerned way. He’ll say, “What do you mean?” You say, “Something’s wrong. I can tell. What is it?” And he’ll look stunned and say, “How did you know?” He doesn’t realize something’s always wrong, with everybody. Often more than one thing. He doesn’t know everybody’s always going around all the time with something wrong and believing they’re exerting great willpower and control to keep other people, for whom they think nothing’s ever wrong, from seeing it.”
― David Foster Wallace, The Pale King

Below are some amazing (fictional) email responses to the Inventory of American Unhappiness Project from the book. Even though its fiction, they are so very poignant:

"Theodore M., 28 cable installer, Morris, IL:

Ideas. Ideas make me unhappy.  I get so many of them. I'm going to make a film about my great-uncle. I'm going to build a writing shed near the garage. I'm going to send a letter every day for the next year.  But I don't follow through on anything. And I know this about myself, so it drives me crazy that I keep having these ideas. I keep having ideas, but what am I doing this week. I'm re-watching The Wire on DVD. Starting over, season one.

Alexandria W., 23, waitress, Seattle, WA:

My boyfriend is a total dick.

Ron C., 24, waiter, Seattle, WA:

My girlfriend is a total bitch.

Wanda P., 37, sales associate, Cody, WY:

I guess when I see grownups dressed up for Halloween it sort of makes me unhappy. Unless they're real sexy sorts of costumers, like a slutty bee or a dirty cop or something. And I suppose its okay if they're with their kids, or at some drunker party or whatever. But I'm thinking about a secretary who dresses up as a witch, you know, standing there in the glare of an insurance offices' fluorescent lights? Or a used-car salesman wearing devil horns? Or a postal clerk dressed up as a cowboy or whatever? I can't abide by that. I can't think about it. Its about as sad as a guy who wears short-sleeve T-shirts and what he describes as "wacky" neckties. There are things adults must not do, you know?

Carrie, 33, legal analyst, Normal, IL:

These binders that line the walls of my office. They hold meeting minutes for every damn meeting from the last ten years; the paper falling out of them is yellowing and often printed in a font and I don't think it exists anymore. We're always in the process of getting ready for another meeting and making another binder to put on the shelves No one looks at the binders after the meetings are done, as far as I can tell, but we will never, ever, get rid of them. On some very fundamental level I don't understand why we make or keep the binders, and since it is my job to make the binders, this makes me unhappy."

Trying My Hand at Satire, With Apologies to Jonathan Swift

After My Kid Learned To Walk, I Got Him a Wiffle Ball Bat. What Happened Next WILL BLOW YOUR MIND:

Here is my Good Men Project post, riffing on this week’s story about college sports teams recruiting eighth graders with this home-spun satire.

Since when is potty-training a prerequisite for getting a scholarship commitment from Florida State anyway?!

January 28, 2014

On Male Friendships - Hollywood's Best Sidekicks and Wingmen



From Wayne’s World to The Big Lebowski to Tombstone to Swingers, Michael Kasdan goes to the movies to explore male friendships
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Knowing what we need from our male friendships. . . . It’s hard.  That’s what she said!

We’re talking about male friendship: What does it look like, and what should it look like? What makes it unique from male-female or female friendships, if it is so unique?

Today, we’re exploring this topic through the lens of the most well known, endearing, and hilarious wingmen, sidekicks and partners in crime ever to grace the silver screen and television, drawing from classics like Wayne’s World, The Office, The Big Lebowski, Swingers, Top Gun, and more.

Check out the whole article, complete with some of my favorite video clips here at The Good Men Project. I'm calling it required reading and viewing for all friends, sidekicks, wingmen, and those in budding bromances. 

January 27, 2014

Some Recent Posts for the Good Men Project

January has been a busy writing month, but - I realize - not in this space.  I have, however, been keeping busy writing on the side for the Good Men Project, mixing in Sports-related stories with other stuff.

This month, I have written on sports comeback and rags to riches stories, how our relationship with sports changes as we grow up, and the important connection between sports and social change in our MLK Day Sports Special.

I've also written about war, covered popular Super Bowl commercials and Olympics political satire commercials, and written about the NFL playoff matchups and silly Super Bowl prop bets.

I've also shared a humorous un-sportsmanlike moment in the wake of the much overblown Richard Sherman controversy, as well as one of the best movie/dance mashups I have ever seen.

January 11, 2014

All of Life is a Metaphor, Metaphorically Speaking

In recent times, I've taken to saying (half-jokingly), after everything that happens or is said,  "Well it’s a metaphor."  

From Joseph Campbell.  (Yes, yes.  I know he's been a source of much posting lately; but I'm reading The Power of Myth and I've been quite taken with the breadth and depth of his thoughts on so many topics.)

“A metaphor is an image that suggests something else...The reference of metaphor in religious traditions is to something transcendent that is not literally any thing.  If you think that the metaphor is itself the reference, it would be like going to a restaurant, asking for the menu, seeing beefsteak written there, and starting to eat the menu . . . [to misread a metaphor is] reading the words in terms of prose instead of poetry, reading the metaphor in terms of the denotation instead of the connotation.”

Who are we?  Where are we?  What are we experiencing and why?  

Maybe everything in life is - or should in part be understood as - a metaphor.

Thoughts developing...